I woke up today thinking, you know I really need to get my ass in gear and start DOING SOMETHING about this blog and all the ideas I have to get it really going. The first time I woke up today it was 2:30 am and after Charlotte settled back down for another 2 to 3 hour stretch I was left tossing and turning. This happens most nights. Insomnia, addiction to social media, inability to relax my brain… whatever it is, it sucks and really is the reason I don’t sleep as much as I should. I did some reading on other ways to earn money as a writer from home. All avenues seem right up my alley. I have loads of writing experience, both professionally and academically. It is the overall motivation to get started. I have read all the self-help pieces that have laid out exactly what I should be doing and tips that will help me stay on the right path. I follow them, for the most part. I can make list after list, set numerous goals and generate multiple check-lists, and I do. It is the next step that seems to be holding me up. It is the actual ‘giddy-up and go’ I am lacking. I am falling short in the follow through department.
I have a couple reasons for this lack of enthusiasm. Overall, in the grand scheme of life, I feel as though I have paid my dues as far as deadlines and writing assignments. I mean, I did it for 10 years in Navy. Having someone over my shoulder, pacing back and forth… waiting for the product. Deadlines. I am far too familiar. Then I have graduate school where I was writing long 20 to 30 page papers in 3 to 4 hours on a Sunday night because I waited until the last minute. I mean, I wrote one of my final papers while sitting in our rented villa in Tuscany the day before my wedding while everyone was out site seeing. I sat, typing away. Sure, I may have been doing the writing while sipping some ridiculously amazing local wine that cost like 5 dollars. Oh the days. Anyway, you get my point. I have been writing the majority of adult life and now I have lost the motivation to do it now. The other reason would be that I am just way too into relaxing. I love it. I don’t really get moving until about 10 and then I am just beyond tired by 8 or 9 when the weasel if finally slain.
You know who doesn’t care: my daughter. Oh, and my husband (who has also paid his dues). So here I am, writing an entire entry about how I cannot find the enthusiasm nor energy to put time into my writing. Nope.
I should get back to procrastinating. I am sure there is a load of laundry I can be pretending to fold.