Tag Archives: mothering

It’s ok to be Grateful and Miserable at the Same Time

One of the first things everyone tells you when you have your first baby is to enjoy every minute because it goes quickly. You get tired of hearing it before the baby comes and then after they are here it is the one piece of advice that you try the hardest to remember. It does go by fast, but it can also feel Groundhog’s Day. You know what I mean.

Some days it is so hard to find the energy or the patience to mother. Babies require constant around-the-clock hands-on care and on some days you can’t even muster the will power to put big girl pants on. On those days, you especially feel the pressure to enjoy all the moments, dammit.

Right now we are in the midst of teething, so when she is clinging to my leg like a dryer sheet while I try to do the dishes and I feel absolutely miserable I can’t fix it, I have to remind myself it is all a phase and will pass. For some reason her little face from that angle, all pouty, gets me in the gut every time. And she must know it, because when she is in a mood, her to go-to method is to cling to mom for dear life. Especially if I am at the sink. Or stove. Or standing, ok, more like if I am standing. You get the point. It is easy to feel miserable in the moment. You can’t help it. Those are the times the guilt of feeling miserable can get to you.

After all, what do I have to complain about? I have a healthy, happy, smart one-year old and our needs are met and then some. If you are like me, sometimes I struggle with being grateful and miserable. It breaks my heart to watch people I know well struggle with even conceiving a baby; yet, some days I can’t get out the door and away from the house fast enough.

Mothering is hard work. And I only have the one kid, so kudos the those with multiples! It is easy to get overwhelmed by it all and fall into the miserable category a time or two, we are all human. Being grateful and miserable go hand-in-hand in the world of parenting.