Assuming always makes an ass out of u and i.
I will start by admitting that I am someone who has the innate tendency to instantly assume if something is awry that I must have caused it. I assume that if a friend is mad about something, it must be linked to me.
At work if I am not vibing with a table, for what ever reason, I assume I will be getting a really shitty tip. Most of the time I am wrong.
I assume my husband knows when I am having a bad day and when I need him to be extra sensitive. That never works in my favor because as it turns out he really can’t read minds.
I assume my daughter will go to bed early if she skipped her nap, and yea that usually does not occur. I also assume that because she loves to swim in water outside, she will be totally cool with bath time. Nope. Apparently they are completely different, but not really.
I assume that my dad will always remember how old I am turning because hello, he is my dad. Now that I have to remember so many damn birthdays and special dates, I have to write down how old everyone is turning. Even myself; so he is forgiven.
We all assume people will treat us the way we treat them. With that notion I go further to assume that if I give 100%, those around me will too.
I assume that the people in my life have the same value system as I do, and that is simply not the case. I won’t give you a social psychology lecture but, with the melting pot of people that makes up this earth that is just not possible. Too many factors to consider.
So not only am I someone who has a tendency to assume, I am in a position that opens me up to assumption from strangers on a consistent basis. For some reason, a server in their 30s tends to leave people wondering where they went wrong in life. Why else would someone be waiting tables for a living past 29?
I get offered jobs, I am paid over-zealous compliments that feel laced with sadness and my favorite is when I get the plain ol’ sad eyes. If I have a table with a recruiter of any type or a retired military person you bet I will be asked at some point if I have thought about the military. Then when they find out I am a veteran of more than a decade I am ambushed with so many inappropriate and uninvited questions it is really appalling.
Let’s be real, there aren’t many professions, and food service is a profession, that you can go up to an employee and literally ask them personal questions and then offer them a “better opportunity in life.” I have been asked way too many times, “what my plans are after this?”
(Rant: I find it really worrisome that a mom who has found a way to earn money for her family and be a stay at home mom during the week has to defend herself to complete strangers at her CHOSEN place of employment.)
On this self-improvement journey I am on, I have been paying close attention to my thoughts and the energy I put out into the world. I have realized that 10 out of 10 times I assume something, I end up feeling like an ass.
I think I am quick to assume partly because I am a naturally defensive person who can be insecure at times. Causation in my eyes would be nature AND nurture. I am naturally sensitive, mix that with the inevitable events of my life and you have: ME.
So I have become hyper-vigalant on the energy I put into this world and I am working on how I handle life and all of its messiness. Assuming effort, it takes brain power. I am trying to re-wire my brain into putting that effort into something that leads to a more positive outcome.
How are you with challengers, readers? Do it. Stop assuming. See what happens in your life.
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