My Take on the Wife Bonus

I knew the minute I read the first paragraph of the lady’s post about her wife bonus she was going to be judged up one side and down the other. She knew it! The title says it all: “I get a wife bonus and I deserve it, so STFU.” There it is, shut the fuck up. She believes she deserves, clearly, so yea, STFU.

Why is did this article get everyone’s panties in a bunch? It is the amount of the bonus, how she spends it or is it where it comes from? Well for me it is pretty simple.

I say, good for you. Just because her bonus is on a higher caliber doesn’t make it any less deserved.

My logic is this; in her current life as a wife and now stay-at-home mom she is opportunity all those professional qualities she used to succeed at her career before hand, where she would be compensated monetarily. Her husband recognizes the sacrifices she makes so he can pursue his career and the work she does at home and with their daughter and feels like she should be rewarded for it.

Why are faulting the way she is rewarded, compensated, spoiled, pampered or however else you want to label this bonus?

I know if my husband could afford to give me a little something extra he would do it in a heartbeat. Wouldn’t yours?

I mean, maybe I can relate to this lady in a round about way. I mean, I will never be getting a bonus is the hundred thousand range, but I certainly don’t fault her for it. If she was a high earner in her career previously and was able to spend money on purses and shoes as a treat, why would it be viewed negatively to be able to continue to do so while working in the home instead of working outside? Is it because the money comes in the form of a yearly bonus and it comes from her husband?

For us average parents, the amount she receives as a bonus is more like a yearly salary, but never the less, the place it comes makes sense to me. It is basically her salary, for staying home, supporting her husband’s career, putting her’s on hold and focusing all her efforts into supporting her new domestic role.

Not to mention, as a stay-at-home parent you have no retirement plan. When you do not earn your own income and are reliant on another person it changes everything for you. So a nice little chunk of money that gives some independence is a great thing and a stress reliever.

Now, I have read this being called anti-feminist. Maybe I am completely ill-informed but being recognized for your efforts, compensated for them and given some financial independence doesn’t sound anti-feminist. Am I looking at this all wrong?

If I was still working in my profession I would be making close to what my husband makes. I am educated and have a strong professional history and I like to think all that spills over to how I take care of our house and daughter. If I could be compensated for it, HELL YES I WOULD TAKE IT!

You guys, I love what I do. Of course. I am not being held hostage. I can go to work anytime, trust me. I am grateful to have this opportunity. But getting paid in kisses and sweet moments can only carry you so far.

I do get little “wife bonuses” every now and then and I eat them up. My little bonuses fall on days pretty much everyone gets a little something something like a birthday or Mothers Bay. A trip to the spa or maybe a small shopping spree at the outlet Gap or JCrew, and quarterly pedicures and hair appointments. I have a good life, I know it.

BUT, if I could fantasize about this lady’s wife bonus reality a little longer…

I would trade her designer dresses for spa days, trade her high-end heels for Steve Madden flats and sandals and downgrade her name brand handbags for Fossil totes and satchel bags.

 

 

 

 

 

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